Time to get real, get personal, get intimate. My thoughts on writing continually evolve, which makes it hard to write much. My past thoughts on my blog was that my posts would be special, that they would be well done, and they would move from one post to the next intentionally and flow logically one after another. But honestly that’s not how my brain works…at all. Actually my thoughts do not flow in words, sentences, paragraphs, or any semblance of communication. Thus, the difficulty in writing. Shaping, manipulating, translating, and making our thoughts intelligible for everyone else to identify and relate to. But that is the goal in writing: to be understood, to be heard, to relate with others, and to make a difference in the world. For us writers, writing helps us process our own thoughts. I believe those who stick with writing truly begin to understand that it is a gift that we have been blessed with and that it is our duty to utilize this gift to the best of our ability. Otherwise we’re squandering and burying it in the dirt, and that is not something God intends for us.
Ok enough with the writing rambling. About my life recently.
God has been blessing me so much. I recently, semi-accidently obtained a mentor. I have been thinking about getting one for a long time. But, as often is the case, I did not know how to go about finding one so I just didn’t try. Thank God for being strong where I am weak. I play basketball with my mentor every week with a group of guys. I talked to him and learned that he is in a leadership role at the biggest charismatic church where I go to grad school. I wanted to know more about charismatic Christianity so I asked him if he wanted to meet and talk about it. He was very open and willing to do that. However, it was during the school year, I procrastinated, and basically waited a long time before asking him to actually do that (all the way until the summer). We had a great meeting, he challenged me to study a bible passage and meet him the next week. I did that and we met once more. He asked me, without my prompting if I would like to enter a mentorship/mentoree relationship and I quickly agreed. Turns out he had been looking for an opportunity outside of church to pour into younger men just as I was looking for an opportunity to be mentored.
I also have found a Godly friend and accountability partner. I met him at church, became friends with him, and found that he was also looking for accountability. Our relationship has been very helpful and encouraging. I am sad he is going back to his home college in the fall, but I am confident that our friendship will not end.
I went to the gym the other day (as I am fond of doing) and my friend (whom also plays with the group of guys that my mentor is a part of) showed up. Afterward he invited a group of us guys to go to supper. We got to know one another at supper and he invited us to a men’s group studying the Bible that he had just started. I also quickly agreed to this as I have been looking for a men’s group as well.
At the beginning of the summer I joined a men’s study group at my church (which has been fantastic), but this week is the final week. So joining the men’s group studying the Bible was the perfect timing.
Looking back this summer I can clearly see the fingerprints of God all over my life. Because of his direction and blessing I have been confronting my sins, getting accountability, pressing into the word, growing closer to God, and finding open doors left and right. It’s been truly an amazing thing to experience. I do have some anxiety about wrapping up the summer the way I need to, preparing for the fall. I know that life will get more difficult with classes, deadlines, work, and just the busyness of life. But I also know that I am in a much better place mentally and spiritually than last year when I started grad school. I am a lot more prepared. I know that if I keep being faithful to God, that he will guide me true. Whether I experience worldly success is not important, but that I go along the path that the Lord leads me on. I know the only way I can do that is pursuing God. Finding a great support system with my church, my mentor, accountability partner, men’s group, etc. have all been essential in keeping my heart in the right place and staying disciplined in my walk with God.
I abhor personal, intimate, overly-detailed writing about myself, that I don’t believe is relevant to the big picture or other people’s lives, but I’m trying to conquer these feelings. My writing is first for God. So I’m giving him praise for what he has done for me. Second, my writing is for myself. To practice the gifts, he’s given me and organize my brain (relatively enough). And third, for you, to keep whoever is interested, informed in my life. And hopefully it helps you in your own life in some way.
I feel like I always say this in my writings, but I sincerely hope to write more often. I will try to vary my posts up (don’t worry my brain naturally loves variation) from personal updates, to creative things, to theological/philosophical posts, to current events/culture/worldview posts, and who know’s what else? So if you don’t like one, then maybe you will like another. Enough with the perfectionism holding me back from writing. Enough with my fears holding me back. Enough with writing just for other’s sake and not my own (or God’s). God bless. Have a good night.