2/6 Musings

I said I wouldn’t do it, but of course, I’ve done it again. I’ve set too high expectations of myself and therefore, I have not blogged very much at all. In order to remedy this, I’m going to try to journal every day. This section of my blog will be my daily thoughts, what I’m going through in life, etc. This will be my mind dissemination or brain dump if you will. It’s less for whoever reads my blog and more for myself. My other parts of my blog will be more focused on the reader. So feel free to skip this section. It will probably be much more random and wordy than most will want to read.
I’ve been really fatigued. I’m not sure how long I’ve had this problem. I know that I really noticed it starting last semester in grad school, continuing onward to this semester. It’s frustrating that I don’t know why. I try to drink lots of water, get exercise, go to bed at a good time, and eat fairly healthy. Lately I’ve been consciously eating more meat. But I haven’t yet figured out what the problem is. A couple of years back I was diagnosed with ADHD, though I had suspected for a long time that I had it. I began taking Ritalin and when that stopped having an effect on me, Adderall.
Since 2012 I have been taking Adderall 20mg XR every day in the mornings. It not only helps me focus, but it helps me have more energy. I believe the reason for this is because the human body is controlled by the brain. The heart keeps the body running, but the brain tells it how to function. An ADHD person’s brain has a chemical imbalance. Their brains are running a thousand miles an hour and many things can distract it. Thoughts can distract thoughts, things they see, here, smell, touch, can distract them from what they were focusing on. At a social event their eyes and mind is bouncing around like a ping pong ball. Thoughts take energy. So the ADHD individual consumes much more energy than the normal person does. When an ADHD brain is stimulated the person can become much more hyper than the normal person, but when the brain is not stimulated they are more likely to be fatigued and feel sluggish than the normal person. ADD medication, such as Adderall seek to correct this chemical imbalance. The extended release releases the medication slowly throughout the day so the effects are long lasting.
Adderall has helped me have more energy, which in turn, has helped me focus more easily. Adderall not only helps my brain slow down in the daytime, I also believe it helps slow my brain at night. Which of course helps me to sleep better and feel more rested in the morning. I recently ran out of Adderall for a day and felt horrible. My doctor told me this is a good sign because it shows the medicine is working and doing its job. What I am wondering, is if my body is adapting to the medication, and if so, if I need a higher dosage. I sure hope not though, I would hate for my body to continually adapt to the medication and for me to keep having to take higher and higher dosages to stay ahead. I hate having to take medication in the first place, but I understand that no matter what I do personally, I cannot change the chemical imbalance in my brain. Medicine or supernatural healing is my only remedy in that regard. Anyways, I will hopefully talk to my doctor when I come back to Lubbock and find a solution.


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